Monday, July 14

Cut you down to toddler size

"Mommy! I have a big nose, just like you!"

"Oh dear, you have a zit! Do you want me to kiss it better?"

Wiping up after she didn't make it to the bathroom. "It's okay, sweetie, accidents happen." "What's 'happen?'" "It's when things- uh-... it's what hap- uh.."

"Mia- what is this wet spot on the floor? Did you have an accident?" "No..." An hour later- watching one of the twins crawling away from me... bare-bottom peeking out from beneath the little sundress. "Aaaahh!" You change three disproportionately smelly diapers in succession, miss one teeny step...

"Lullabyyyyyye and good niiiiight.... uh- nuh na naaah naaaah na na naaaah..."

About ten minutes after holding her arm while she tried to squirm away: "My mommy pulled my awm and she huwt me!" to our preschool friends. Yeah- come again soon!

A half hour of frenzied packing and prepping to leave, and finally: "Okay, Mia, let's go- we're late! Get your shoes on, let's go!" "But Moooommy! I don't have any pants! Ha ha! I can't show my buuuum! Silly Mommy!"

"That'll be $165.75" Search search search. "Uh- my wallet seems to have escaped my purse. Heh. Heh. See, I have three little kids at home that like to..." "Uh huh." "I guess I'll just be back for this, should I go put the frozen stuff back?" Eye rolling abounds.

"That'll be $7.23" Search search search. Uncrumple uncrumple uncrumple. "Sorry these are so..." "Uh huh." "See, I have three little kids at home that like to go through my..." Eye rolling abounds again.

Walking into sacrament meeting just as things are starting to quiet down for announcements. "AAAABBBBYYYYYY!!!!!" Yes, we're here.


Marsie Pants said...

I'm sorry we're the cause of all your child's horrible behavior.

Hot Air said...

Dude! Knock it off! People are wondering why the heck you hang out with me. Oh- and on a completely unrelated note: the check's in the mail.

Magirk said...

Ooooooh, ho ho!! The ole' 'See, I have three little kids at home that like to...' routine! :-D

My 4yo loves to walk around with my purse. But not only does she take out my wallet and pretend to be buying things, she actually loses my cards and money on occasion. Not pleasant.

Especially when I don't notice until we're at the store. Em.Barr.Assing. (You didn't really think I'd break up that last section like that, did you!?!) haha, joke's on you!

(I really liked this list.) ;-)

Mother Goose said...

This was really funny! I am the one who never puts my wallet or cards where they should be. But, I still use the excuse. Well, you see I have 4 little ones. I was at a grocery store, no debit card or credit card. Begged them to finish ringing me up. Put the cart up front, near the help desk as I dash home for some moolah. They did, thankfully. I promised I would be back in 10 minutes.

Kelly Durham said...

Hilarious! Simply hilarious. I, too, have been a victim of purse rummaging. And really observant preschoolers commenting on my skin. I guess that's why I love this list so much.