Friday, January 15

Time to think

The last couple of days I have been all caught up with my photography. Only one sitting on the books. No albums to work on, nothing to retouch. In other words- nothing nagging at the back of my mind when I'm putting the kids down... "hurry, hurry, you only have a few hours!"

Even when it was just Mia, I was doing albums and there was that nagging. I quit those when the twins were born, and then nursing and sleeping took over the nagging. There wasn't time to rock my babies to sleep at night.

And then, suddenly, there was no need. Don't get me wrong- I've always appreciated how well they've gone down without needing to be rocked. I guess that was really lucky.

But since their sleeping arrangements got all rearranged, they've needed some help getting down. At first, I had work to do and couldn't take the time they needed. Zach had to sit in their room and study, while we shushed them (sometimes in not so friendly tones)for a good hour while they whined and giggled and needed this or that.

I finished my work a few nights ago, and the last couple of nights have just stayed in their room. I've been rocking Mia to sleep, putting her in her bed, and then held Anya one night and Bree tonight. It's so blissful! Having nothing to worry about while I hold my babies. It's making me wonder about starting up photography again.

I'd feel... odd... refusing work when we literally have zero income. Being a Mormon family of five in med school is weird. Living off student loans is really weird. I guess six won't make it any more normal. That's all I have to say.

3 comments:

Leah Southwick said...

Your blog gave me something to think about. We will find out in a month where the next phase of our life will take us and more than likely it won't include me working. I look forward to the day when I can just be a mom but I am also nervous for the decrease in income/picking up student loans. Thanks for your post--it has helped me realize that I'm not alone in these feelings.

RhondaLue said...

you should continue to take some time off and just rock your babies. :) they grow up much too fast. YAY for you appreciating that time.

The Garber Family said...

You guys are doing all the right things! Keep it up. I know all the sacrifices are so hard. But your kids will be so happy they had you. And you will be so happy you had them.