One man's trash

I was getting to the point where I got a pit in my stomach after dinner, just thinking of the next "step." Our night-time routine with Mia. We'd start out fine. Put night-time diapers on the babies and stick them in their cribs,(nice routine for those two, ya think?) Then it was Mia's turn.

You know- it only got hard to put her to bed when we introduced a "bedtime routine?" Yeah. Before that- we put her in bed and she went to sleep. We took her binki away when she turned two, and she still did fine. But we thought- "Gee we've taken her away from her home, her grandparents, cousins, and her binki, not to mention divided our attention to her in three ways, all in a few months. Maybe we should give her something for a change." So we bought into the "kids should have a nightly regimen" crap and started singing songs and reading books and praying right before bed. Things went downhill from there. Bedtime became playtime. Not just any playtime. Exclusive really-nice-mommy playtime. Of course she was going to start balking at going to bed! Don't get me wrong. I think all the singing, reading stuff is important, and can be beneficial for some children before bedtime. But she didn't need it to sleep. "If it aint broke..." Duh.

Up until a couple of weeks ago, Mia's betime went something like this:

Kiss daddy goodnight, brush teeth, potty, pull-ups, P.J.'s, three books, three songs, "Goodnight to Mia," (she started saying goodnight to herself in the mirror at some point. "Good night Mia! I love you!" and then hug and blow herself a kiss.) Then prayers, kiss mommy, get tucked in, pull off the covers, "BIG hug," tucked in again.

At this point there was always a new variation. Potty again, need a drink, need socks on my hands (she started picking her lip when we went to Utah for Christmas last year- our solution,) afraid of the shadows, I have to tell you something, I'm hungry.

The ultimate ending to this chaos each night also came in varied forms. Have a gratitude moment, where we tell each other what things we were grateful the other did that day, get a drink, go potty again, sing another song, say another prayer, add a stuffed animal, arrange the furniture. Usually she'd keep whining and whining until the last resort- threatening to take her favorite toy away. Some nights involved doing just that.

It got worse and worse. She started getting out of bed hours after we thought she was down for the count. We realized we had to turn the actual lamp off, and not just use the light switch. We found out we had to block her direct view of the nightlight. The worst- she started getting up at 5:45- 6:00am and yelling for us. And if she didn't, one of the babies did.

Though she'd never asked, and despite all the warnings we'd read not to "go there," we decided to let her start falling asleep in our bed while Zach studied, with the understanding she'd wake up in her own room. For those of you who don't know, Zach is doing the at-home study option for the first two years of med school. His computer desk and homework station are right next to our bed- the only place for him to get peace and quiet during the days. The first night, she fell asleep within ten minutes, no fussing. It was like the first quiet minute after one of the heinous thunderstorms out here in Ohio. The deafening silence feels so good, but you don't quite believe it's over.

We've had to play around with it. She's had trouble getting to sleep a few nights. But she is actually trying to get to sleep! The other night she decided she'd rather sleep in her own bed. Today is the third day she's put herself down for a nap. And last, but not least, somehow, all of this has affected the babies. The same time we stopped the late night crying with Mia, the babies stopped the early morning rising. We've slept until at least 7 almost every morning for two weeks.

Things are better at our house. Even though I've been grateful for it a couple of times, I'm almost to the point where I think no advice is good advice when it comes to child care. We're so worried about how everyone else does it, (and doesn't do it) we let our personal solutions slip through the cracks undiscovered. We have more faith in people who aren't the parents of our children, who aren't living our lives, and who aren't dealing with our very unique situations. I love hearing successes and botch-ups of other parents. But I'm going to keep in mind that's all they are. Their successes and botch-ups.

Mimi's Big Day

I spent four times the hours on this cake than I did on labor with the kid it was for. And it self-destructed twenty minutes after the party started. I can't believe I didn't get an "after" shot. (We were kind of busy. Eating it.)



Zach did a good job decorating, cleaning, and keeping the babies out of the kitchen. (Thanks again, honey.)



She had a good day. Her Princess Party started at 11:00ish. First, Princess primping. All the girls got to put on makeup. I knew I carted those Costco makeup samples around three moves for a reason. Yet one more argument for the pack rat in me. Mia liked the lipstick. Didn't like it when Mom started "helping."

We put a Princess tiara on every female in the room, and probably would have let the two daddies present join in the fun had we had any more. Tough luck, guys. Maybe next time. Hey- quit complaining, at least you got to give your daughter a makeover.

Played "Pin the Princess to the castle," (I have no idea what the game is called) where everyone got a chance to stick a Cinderella sticker in the vacant castle window while blindfolded. It was the only decoration up this morning when Mia came downstairs. She was so enthralled. "Looooook! It's my Princesses!" and she named all six. Then she turned to me and said "Thank you for putting this up while I was asleep, Mommy!" She stared at it, probably the least interesting thing I knew was in store for her today, for a good five minutes, thanking me over and over.

Then we had The Royal Lunch. My favorite chicken salad sandwiches that Zach's mom makes for special stuff. On croissants. Yummy. Some of the older princesses were very brave and tried them, but most of the kids, including Princess Mia, ended up with PB&J.

Then we ate the cake. There's something different about deconstructing a cake to eat it, and eating a cake that has already self-destructed. I felt pretty bad about serving our Royal Guests from the pile of chocolate, lemon, party sprinkle cake castle and toppled rice crispy treat towers. At least everything was fresh.

We opened some of the most awesome presents I've ever seen at a birthday party. Mrs. Potato head, Belle the doll, a Princess pillow, nifty little block set that is really a little house, an incredible art lap-desk complete with princess coloring book, stickers and coloring utencils, another Princess sticker/coloring book (thank goodness- she goes through those books like candy,) a dress-up kit with high heels and jewelry (no more pathetic imaginary dress-up! Yaaaay!) and last but not least- glow sticks. She and the babies were in heaven playing with every single present for the rest of the afternoon. Hobbling around on heels, glow sticks in the bathroom. They were very busy.

After presents everyone was getting a little too close to breaking into song and talking to mice, so our guests headed home.

As the day progressed, the surprises and presents got better and better, and Mia's reactions got smaller and smaller. So much for saving the best for last. By the time we got around to video calls with grandparents, Mia was pretty tired. She opened a cute gift and immediately said "Let's open another one!" I think she was overwhelmed, and was trying to get it over with. Maybe we'll put everything back in the gift bags for her to re-discover tomorrow.

One thing's for sure- we're set for clothes for another year. Yaaaay for Grandmas with Costco memberships! ;)

Thank you to everyone who came, and everyone who contributed to making this such a special, happy day.

Happy Birthday, Mimi

Last night at 11:40 I was in Mia's room watching her sleep and thinking, "Three years ago exactly, I was in an elevator throwing up." Mia was born at 1:33 am. (Not in the elevator.)

More Miminess:

Mia stubbed her toe: "Oww!"
"You stub your toe, baby?"
"Yeah. My foot huwts. I need to go to the store to get a new one."
"Do they sell feet at the store?"
"Yes. And I'm going to drive there by myself! Bye, Mom! I'm going to the stoore.... to get a new fooot!"

She see's a Blue's Clues notebook. "Look!!! It's a handy dandy!"
The first time she saw a question mark: "Look!! A clue!"

Anya swiped her tortilla. "Mom! Anya's eating my diarrhea!"

The clock changes from 7:59 to 8:00 (bedtime.) "Oh deeeaw. It's 8 o'cwock. But it's okay, that 8 is a nice guy, he won't huwt us."

Heard from upstairs: Mia rallying the twins, "C'mon, guys! Let's wock and woll!" followed by exuberant Playschool xylophone playing.

Comprehension check after reading the kid's version of the story of "Legion."
"So then what happened, Mia?"
"Jesus saw the pigs and they said, 'Hello! What's your name?' and he said, 'Jesus. Go away.'"

The next day after reading the story of Jesus and Peter walking on the water:
"Who walked on the water, Mia?"
"Jesus!"
"And who else?"
"The pigs!"

Exasperated: "Mia, you can't keep doing this (stalling) at bedtime. Who do you like to put you to bed, nice mommy or mean mommy??"
"I like Daddy."
Zach cracks up in the next room.

"I loooove dip!" (Warm V8 we dip grilled cheese in) "I want to drink it!"
"Okay, Mia! Can you eat two bites of sandwich first?"
"How 'bout fiiiive bites?!"
"Uh- okay."

Four hours 'til our princess party. Happy Birthday, Your Highness!! We love you!

"Eh?"

A couple of days ago I thought Mia wanted to color. Thanks to a really annoying cartoon called "Max and Ruby," she has started talking like the character Max, who aggravatingly speaks one word sentences to try and get his point across. So when she said "Mia cahwuh," (she can't say her "L's" very well,) I was kind of annoyed that she was talking that way again, but asked if she wanted to color.

"Noooo! Mia cahwuh!" Huh?

"Sweetie, I don't understand. You don't want to color?"

"No! Mia cahwaaaaah!" she was getting so frustrated. Then she said "Ban Wagonuh." Oh. Mia Cara Van Wagoner. She was trying to demonstrate the latest big-girl thing she learned. Isn't it awful? Mom thinks she's talking like a baby, and she's really talking like a grown-up. With a speech impediment. Drrt.

I'm thinking this incident, and many similar to it, is the reason I found her on the couch the other day practicing saying "sled." With a real "L" sound. It was so cute I got out the video camera and recorded what came next:

(Pllllease pardon my nagging after she asks for paper- I was so entertained by the way she was saying it, I didn't care that it totally sounded like I was making her beg... mean mommy. Kind of a bad word to practice on, I guess.)

In a different state

We got to Ohio on the 1st. I just re-read some of my past blogs, and I realized what an eventful year we've had so far. And that's about all I can say right now. Mia's really lonely. The rest of the crap I'm dealing with right now isn't even bloggable.