Time to think

The last couple of days I have been all caught up with my photography. Only one sitting on the books. No albums to work on, nothing to retouch. In other words- nothing nagging at the back of my mind when I'm putting the kids down... "hurry, hurry, you only have a few hours!"

Even when it was just Mia, I was doing albums and there was that nagging. I quit those when the twins were born, and then nursing and sleeping took over the nagging. There wasn't time to rock my babies to sleep at night.

And then, suddenly, there was no need. Don't get me wrong- I've always appreciated how well they've gone down without needing to be rocked. I guess that was really lucky.

But since their sleeping arrangements got all rearranged, they've needed some help getting down. At first, I had work to do and couldn't take the time they needed. Zach had to sit in their room and study, while we shushed them (sometimes in not so friendly tones)for a good hour while they whined and giggled and needed this or that.

I finished my work a few nights ago, and the last couple of nights have just stayed in their room. I've been rocking Mia to sleep, putting her in her bed, and then held Anya one night and Bree tonight. It's so blissful! Having nothing to worry about while I hold my babies. It's making me wonder about starting up photography again.

I'd feel... odd... refusing work when we literally have zero income. Being a Mormon family of five in med school is weird. Living off student loans is really weird. I guess six won't make it any more normal. That's all I have to say.