TMI

Post these rules on your blog. Answer these 15 questions about yourself on your blog. Tag five people at the end of your post by leaving their names. Here it is:

JOYS:
1. Getting Anya to walk, by hanging fruit snacks from the ceiling where there's no furniture to cheat with.
2. Combining whatever I find in the fridge, mashing it, and watching the babies gleefully eat it.
3. Making them laugh so hard the food falls out of their mouths.

FEARS:
1. One day I will make them laugh so hard they will choke on one of my concoctions.
2. Child protection services will see my fruit snack torture device, messy living room, and irreverent blog and come cart my kids away.
3. You will see my fruit snack torture device, messy living room, and irreverent blog and call child protection services who will then come cart my kids away.

GOALS:
1. Clean my living room before I post it online again.
2. Kill the *&%$#@! fly that was attracted to my living room and keeps buzzing in the blinds next to the computer.
3. Learn how to spin a basketball on one finger.

OBSESSIONS/COLLECTIONS:
1. If I see a peeling sunburn, and it's on someone even remotely related to me, I have to take a stab at it. And I have to keep trying until I get a satisfactorily large piece.
2. My kids can have crumbs attached to their faces for an hour and I won't blink an eye, but if I see a booger in their nose, I can't stop wiping, picking and smooshing until it's out.
3. I collect gay friends. I can't help it. Before I was married, and twice after, if there was a guy (friend only- except for one) I really got along with, he always decided to go rainbow. They don't give a hoot that I think it's a despicable decision. Maybe that's why it took me three months to start dating Zach.

RANDOM SURPRISING FACTS ABOUT ME:
1. I've conditioned three babies to think that when "That's How You Know" from Enchanted starts playing, they are going to be danced around the room. The second they hear those steel drums, they start crawling toward me with a look of anticipation on their faces. All of them.
2. I am conditioned to turn off "That's How You Know" from Enchanted as soon as those steel drums start playing.
3. My favorite color is clear. And you can't convince me it isn't. The first flatware I bought was clear. My cups, glasses, dining room table- clear. The diamond in my ring is clear. If you still don't believe me, come over to my house, I'll offer you some water, and you can tell me what color you would like it.

Tag: Not Maury because she'll just laugh at me and won't do it, Rachelle, Steph, Ally, Wa, Ashley
My daughter the crab-walker who swallows fruit snacks whole.